Reincarnation

All posts tagged Reincarnation

Another Time, Another Me

Posted by fpdorchak on May 20, 2021
Posted in: Esoterica, History, Just Plain Weird, Metaphysical, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 Comments

Earlier in the day on May 13, 2021, during mid-morning, I’d been watching an Unearthed show that talked about Minoan culture and its demise. I’d been in one of our rooms that has a particular sliding window that was cracked open. From outside I’d heard a very “different” kind of bird that had been chirping away outside that I hadn’t recognized, and with the sun hitting the window and the inside of the room “just so,” man, I felt instantly transported!

It was truly like I was visiting a Past Me who lived in the Aegean Islands!

Had I been part of the Minoan culture?

The feeling was utterly unshakable and intense! I again went into that room a little later and that same feeling again permeated me. It was weird and quite real. I actually felt like I was in another part of the world, in another time, as another me…and that outside my window was a wonderfully designed courtyard full of beautiful local life and vegetation, warm, bright sunshine, incredible, colorful birds, and whatever else awaited out in that warm, beautiful climate. That feeling stayed with me throughout most of the day. I can still picture the perfect white (and gold?) columns and structures outside my Minoan window with the birds chirping and the sun shining, breezes gently swaying the tree tops in a comfortably humid climate….

I’m not saying it’s real, but I’m also not merely dismissing it out of hand, either. It was an experience I had and I’m merely acknowledging it…and adding it to my list of possibilities:

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The Reincarnational Conundrum

Posted by fpdorchak on January 11, 2016
Posted in: Esoterica, Just Plain Weird, Metaphysical, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

On my last post, Karen, a friend of mine, posed the following:

“You know I’ve had these types of experiences (though not visualizing what I might have been – just having the results of those experiences bleed over). What I’m curious about though is whether you think a simultaneous or future life affects you now to prevent problems, warn of them, improve your understanding of them…. If so, why wouldn’t they also solve the problems of the other lives (the pressing, for example) unless we are supposed to go through pain for some reason.”

She raises some good points, points that I’ve heard many times over the years. I will try to clarify my stance on the matter in as succinct a manner as possible without getting all “book length” on the matter (which I really wasn’t able to do, as you’ll see), but in order to do so I must give some “background” information first….

On the one hand, yes, we all are better in our current point-of-view (POV) life because of something we’ve “already experienced” in another life, past or future. This can be a physical thing, like superb physical conditioning, to nonphysical abilities, like mental or emotional prowess. But even this answer is far more “trite” and superficial than Karen’s answer requires, because there are so many variables to both the question and the answer.

So many, many “rabbit holes” to explore!

All of the below are my beliefs…beliefs I’ve cultivated over my life from reading and employing all I’ve learned (I’ve studied religion and philosophy in college and on my own, as well as physics and metaphysics)…so I’m not going to caveat each statement with “This is my belief, but…,” I’m just gonna state each response as a statement. Take it or leave it, but these are my views.

Note that while some of what I’m about to say below may appear to conflict with other things I say…there really is no contradiction. Once you really assimilate what I’m talking about…step back and look at it from as outside of Human perspectives as much as is possible that any Human can do such a thing…all probabilities can co-exist. Again, I have not come up with this stuff on my own…but I’ve come to see the reality behind these concepts in action…in play in my own life. I’ve even written about these to varying degrees in my work.

Simultaneous Time

There is no inherent Time.

There is only our interpretations of physical events, known as “Time,” because we are so “close” to the corporal (“physical”) aspects of this life that this “closeness” is interpreted as “Time.” It’s not a bad thing. It’s actually quite a cool thing. I feel this is quite important for all of us who inhabit this Space/Time Continuum. For instance: if we didn’t have Time, we couldn’t consider or reconsider our actions: you hate a person for whatever reason. If there were no Time how might this “hate” manifest? It’d probably immediately “act” itself out…but, given that we have “Time” that act does not need to be immediately acted upon…but allows us reflection. Sure, others do act on such impulses, but the great majority of us do not…and the ability to reflect still exists whether or not it is chosen.

Time is really our “Safety Net.”

The Point of Power Is In The Present

This means that whatever else exits out there…however many other lives we’re living…none of those lives control who we are in the present, current moment. No other person or “entity” controls our lives.

The current moment is our “me” conscious POV of NOW.

The ME here, now, writing this…having the thoughts I’m putting down on this post…is NOT controlled by any other “me” out there. We can influence each other through “bleed throughs” (explained below)…inspire each other…but no one [other] self controls another self.

So…the “point of power” is always with the current POV’s self.

I realize this gets funky fast…like looking into a mirror that’s reflecting back  mirrored images into infinity…but there’s no contradiction here. Since there are multiple you’s and me’s out there, this applies to all of them. It’s like considering all aspects of God and S/He/It…how could God always exist?—where did he always exist?!

Again: your conscious POV is the point of power of all Life Control. This is also where the “Free Will” card resides. This is your free will…your point of power.

We need this kind of focus to really learn on WHAT to focus…and to focus CLEARLY only upon that which we really want to focus upon. To DIRECT our focuses in ways that we can’t even imagine…but certainly are learning how to….

Bleed Throughs

All of life is energy…which is never destroyed, but “merely” changes states. And since there is no Time (only our perception of it)…all energy interacts with all energy. It’s like electromagnetic waves. Heat waves. Ripples in water when objects are thrown into them. It all radiates outward in whatever dimensions exist….two-dimensional water ripples…three-dimensional radio waves…multi-dimensional Life Energy (for lack of a better term, which presently eludes me…). Our thoughts are energy. The movement of our arms…eyelashes. Internal digestion. It’s all formations and transformations of energy.

So…anything we do—anything—our thoughts, our actions, our emotions…all radiate outward and affect everything else out there.

Yes, it can truly be maddening thinking about all the possibilities/probabilities… but that is the wonder of Life!

Know Thyself

You know yourself. You do.

You may not admit it to anyone…you may not admit it even to yourself…but you know who and what you are on a basic, Human level. All your weirdnesses…your loves, your likes and dislikes.

Your beliefs.

Do you believe in struggle? Religion? War? Love? Sleep? Ants?

You weed out things you do not believe in for things you do believe in…and there are certain things the majority of us have to believe in as a basis of our very existences, like breathing air. Kissing. Eating. Dying. These are the “lowest common denominators” of our accepting Life in this plane of existence. Sure, there are exceptions and some can “bend” the rules a little, but on the whole if we all didn’t agree upon a certain set of pre-existing rules, we couldn’t BE.

As an adult you believe in things you didn’t believe in as a child—and vice versa. Apply this to the different versions of You out there in all your other existences. You’re all different…yet YOU. They (all the other “you’s”) have the very same thing…and just because they are a “you,” does not mean “you” think the same way…or even agree with…each other. Just like the “you” now may not agree with the “you” at 73 or 13. You may not even like some of the other you’s out there. So…just because one “you” out there thinks or knows something doesn’t mean YOU (the one reading this) will agree with it or even take notice, because it goes so counter to your beliefs and et cetera. And really, none of us are “perfect” in any definition of the word (see below). We all make mistakes or occasionally wake up on the wrong side of the bed and make misinformed decisions….

Our conscious minds are our filters. We choose what we want to believe…what we want to perceive, and this also works on an unconscious level. And those other areas of ourselves don’t really know that well…we are learning about….

Barriers

There are obvious physical, mental, and metaphysical barriers to life.

But, again, there really aren’t.

Only the perceptions that there are barriers. So they exist.

Perception is reality…more than you may realize.

Perceptions are every bit as real and solid as concrete footing. They’re not to be ignored. Why so-called barriers are there is too long a subject to get into…but just know that they exist. We can peek behind and around them, but for the most part they are there for a reason…one of which is to allow us the ability to focus on who and where we are NOW. If all the barriers were open, it would be such a flood of information…and our current selves are not equipped to handle that…in this probable existence.

Probable Existences

No one reality—even our “me POV” life—is THE “standard,” or “rock bed” reality. Each reality is as important as the others. Each POV is the POV for that POV.

Sounds silly, but think about it: you’re considering your current POV as The Standard. That all the other POVs are spin offs from you. To be perceived BY you. But each of those other POVs are doing the same thing…and you’re all correct.

Slightly mind-blowing?

Every action spins off a result. Every thought. You think it…”it” takes off. You cannot call it back. Whether or not you follow it, it has taken on a life of its own, much like when you approach a fork in a road. You consider taking the other path, but you take the one you’re on. Well, your considerations spawned an alternate, probable reality where you did take the “other” path…and the path you took became the probable reality.

I know…it hurts to think about. But that’s why there are barriers!

Pain

Pain is not meant to be endured and muscled through as some sort of glorious badass activity. “Pain” is meant to let you know that something you are doing is affecting you in a way that is exhibiting itself as “pain”…an unpleasant sensation to you. You are meant to stop doing whatever it is that is so affecting you as “pain” and reexamine what it is you’re doing.

The attributes of “pain” are not “good” or “bad.” They are just the attributes that manifest in our physical existence as they do…like “bitter” or “sweet” exhibit themselves are not good or bad…they just are. But pain is meant to have you reflect upon what you are doing and to make appropriate changes.

Nobody’s Perfect

We are all learning how to wield the energy of our lives, so we will and do often make mistakes. Misdirect our energies. We are learning the responsibility of our actions…our thoughts as well as their exteriorized (physical) manifestations. We are learning the sanctity of Life. We are learning all this and more…and we are dong so in a medium (physical life) where, for lack of a better description, we have “room for error” on the cosmic scale of things. If we blow ourselves and our Earth up…we only blow up our version…our probably-reality-of-many-Earths-and-lives up. Other versions of Earth and us go on to exist quite well in other probable existences.

That does not make our actions any “less” than any other actions—they are all each extremely important and not to be dismissed.

End Game

Okay, so putting all this together…yes, you can get bleed throughs from your other lives, and yes, even “warnings” or anything else you want to label them, but it’s up to you whether or not you acknowledge and accept them, let alone act on them. But by the same token, there are so many variable to all lives, with the fluidity of life/energy, that circumstances are ever-changing.

So, in answer to Karen’s queries:

  • I’m curious about though is whether you think a simultaneous or future life affects you now to prevent problems, warn of them, improve your understanding of them….
    • All time is now and there are endless probabilities. All variations are given their sway. What you avoid in one probability, you confront in another. But, as contradictory as it sounds, yes, to all of the above…if you are open to said input and acknowledge “the knowledge,” you can “prevent” and “be warned.” And you can definitely improve your understanding of anything related to “all this.”
  • If so, why wouldn’t they also solve the problems of the other lives (the pressing, for example)
    • All probabilities are given expression…it just depends on your focus. Knowing yourself…how not everything YOU do is perfect and correct…apply that to every other version of you out there. And it’s not so much a case of “solving problems” as it is one of learning and growing…and yes, we all learn and grow through all of our experiences, “good” and “bad.” Think of a movie…the crap characters go through, but after the movie they’re none the worse for wear, and hopefully have learned something from their experience in the movie. But, yes, you could “solve” problems in one probability or another…while the “problems” still exist in other probabilities.
  • unless we are supposed to go through pain for some reason.”
    • See all of the above!
    • We are all learning how to use the energy that is available to us…and as anyone can see…we have a long way to go! We have the definition of “pain” above. “Pain” is not meant to be endured or to “go/power through”…it’s meant to be a signal to change something.

I hope I have helped clarify at least my stance on the matter, though I know all of you have your own beliefs…which is as it should be. I’m no guru, have no desire to even peripherally “touch” upon that kind of status…I’m just trying to work my way through life like every one else out there…and on the way give another perspective about how things may be. How I’ve seen things work in my life. Take what makes sense to you and ignore the rest, it doesn’t matter to me in that sense…yet matters to me a lot in the sense that we’re all Humans, all in this together, all trying to do our level best in our own ways as we make our way through life. I learn from others and I want to help others learn from my over 40 years of quite considered thought and down-right analysis.

We all benefit from learning from each other.

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The Reincarnation of F. P. Dorchak

Posted by fpdorchak on January 1, 2016
Posted in: Books, Dreams, History, Just Plain Weird, Metaphysical, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 14 Comments

Bull Run, Virginia, Battlefield Cannon (© F. P. Dorchak, April 22, 1990)

Bull Run, Virginia, Battlefield Cannon (© F. P. Dorchak, April 22, 1990)

I believe in reincarnation…or, more specifically, in the living of simultaneous lives that appear to us in this physical existence as reincarnational.

This belief has led to more than a story or two. The strongest past life is my Civil War existence. This is the one that seems to come up the most. Has the strongest effect on me. It led to the short story “Etched In Stone” (to be posted Feb 26, 2016, on my other blog site). I feel I was part of a Zouave regiment, perhaps the 5th New York. Another life that greatly impacts me is my Titanic life. I feel I died while in the steerage section of that ship. That lead to “The Death of Me.” Existences as a WWII tail gunner and a Ronin/Samurai lead to the short story “Tail Gunner” and a character, “Kioshu,” in The Uninvited. The curious thing about the WWII tail gunner existence is that I also feel I may have been an American ground troop in that war as well. Not only do images of B-17s rattle my bones, but many scenes with ground troops stir my soul quite a bit, too. So, I figure I must’ve had dual counterparts in WWII. But there’s more “military”…

Someone once told me they “saw” me as a Roman soldier. And a chiropractor I used to go to had muscle tested me and came up with 14 past lives…including yet another military life: a WWI life, which was interesting, because I’d never really felt that existence. He might have been confusing it with my WWII lives and his own “filters”…but, in any case, it was interesting (muscle testing can be influenced by the one doing the testing). Yet another World War counterpart. Clearly I’ve dabbled in the military end of things a bit. And I’m quite over it, to tell you the truth. Enough with war.

Another life I haven’t looked into much was one as a witch. A “kid witch.” In early 1984, a woman (a witch) told me she thought I’d been a kid-witch of 12 or 13 years old and had been pressed to death. She also told me that she’d been the cause of my death. I later found this in a letter I’d written to the late Jane Roberts and Rob Butts in 1984. In it I’d written that this present-day witch:

“…keeps seeing me as a coven member, and I tell her that she’s probably just seeing a probable self of me. She also says that we knew each other in a ‘past life.’ That I was a little kid-witch, about 13, and she was the death of me. Interestingly, [while with her one day] I saw an image of a young kid, about 12 – 13, being pressed to death–an agonized face. I told her this after she told me what I told you.”

Curiously, I could find no instances of a teenager being pressed to death over the Internet, so who knows what we’re really picking up on…or maybe it was done “in private”…you know, once you get past believing in any of this….

Interestingly, as a teenager I did have a weird thing happen to me that relates to the above: one day while looking for something in the Lake Clear, N.Y. garage, I had pulled some upright sheets of plywood toward me, away from the garage wall (the wall closest to the house). As I did so, I felt the plywood (this is how I thought of it then) seemingly take on a life of their own and fall into me. I pressed with all my might and was utterly helpless…and it raised a fear in me I had not experienced at that time. The entire “pile” knocked me over onto the gravel floor, all 10 or 15 or however many sheets there were, on top of me. Those suckers were heavy! It was the first time I’d felt so utterly helpless…and it felt so damned weird. I managed to get out from under them no worse for the wear, but that moment remains etched in my mind. I thought back to that later, after the witch told me the above. Also as a kid, I’d read up on the history of witchcraft, but it never really held much interest to me after reading about it…though I did get into it as an interest (not a practitioner) for a while, reading several books on it….

While visiting Maui, in 1998, with my wife, I had the following experience (taken from my diary):

“Nov 14, 1998, 1:36 p.m.

Note: While driving around, had a particularly spiritual experience, like the Manassas one, north of where we were staying [in Maui]. Laura and I drove north, to just inside that one-laned road, and we both felt that this drive felt “weird”! It was overcast, and late in the afternoon, but it was more than that. I again felt like I was straddling two worlds, and I got to thinking: oh boy, am I treading on ground I treaded before? Had Laura and I been alive in another life, past or future, here? Maybe had I been a spiritual kahuna? Had I died here in some ritual or war? It was verrrrrrrry weird….”

As much as I very much loved visiting Maui…I have absolutely no desire to  permanently live there (though am perfectly willing to go back as many times as possible!). Whatever the reason…it seems to stem from the above “weirdness” and finally made total “sense” to me.

Another interesting one is seeing images of me walking in monk-like robes over sand in a far-away (barren) land. I wonder if it’s Australia. I haven’t gotten much from this imagery.

There have been a couple of other possible lives I’ve glimpsed, but none of them are as strong and emotional as the ones mentioned above.

Now…as fascinated as I am by the lives I feel I’ve lived/am living in other realities, I don’t focus my energies so much on finding out all I can about them (i.e., “reliving” them) as in acknowledging them, listening to them when I need to, but focusing my conscious thoughts and efforts to my current existence. Those lives…those consciousnesses are elsewhere…being focused upon by the me that is there…and I need to focus on the me that is here…but acknowledging that my other selves do still exit elsewhere and are every bit as important and real as the me I am, here, writing this. Some of those lives I really don’t want to revisit anyway.

If you keep focusing on the past (or “elsewhere”), you’re never really living in the present.

I feel the important thing about learning about our past lives is that we have them and acknowledge them when we become aware of them. Send them positive energy. I feel in doing this we can enhance their lives…change them, even. Remember I believe in simultaneous lives…not so much past lives. All our lives are ongoing…and this being my belief, I feel we can all help each other out. Make our collective lives better…which therefore helps out our individual “present” lives as well. It’s all energy…and all energy is connected. As we help ourselves out…we’re also helping out everyone else.

So, while it’s cool and interesting to learn about the other lives we live…we still need to focus on our present-day lives (“Over Now,” by Alice in Chains has been playing just now, and “Say Goodbye” just popped up from Theory of a Deadman…). I feel that’s also why many of us cannot remember much about our other lives. Or why we only get bits and pieces. I feel we have built-in filters. We only get what we can “handle”…or only enough “bleed throughs” to remind us who “we are”…but not enough to cause us to focus so heavily on these other lives so as to ignore our current focus. The purpose of having a life is to live it. Live and focus on the things in front of us. That, in turn, helps us all in our overall experience of Life and growth of our soul.

And each of you all have this ability. I bet you’ve all had some weird imagery or experience you can’t readily categorize that fits into the realm of reincarnation or simultaneous lives but have dismissed it as fantasy.

Well, don’t.

Acknowledge it…send it positive, constructive energy when you get such images…and move on. It’s okay if you do ignore it/them…they happened/are happening whether or not you believe it/them…or acknowledge them (you know, given you believe in this stuff…). But they pop into your consciousness for a reason. So, why not give them their due? No one else has to know! It’s just between you and…you. And it doesn’t even matter if you’re misinterpreting what you’re “getting.” Just acknowledge the thought…the idea…it.

So this post is not just about the reincarnation of F. P. Dorchak…it’s also about the reincarnation of you.

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My Civil War Life

Posted by fpdorchak on October 6, 2014
Posted in: Esoterica, Just Plain Weird, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 12 Comments

Me, Bull Run (Manassas, VA) Battlefield, and Zouave Reenactor (April 22, 1990)

Me, Bull Run (Manassas, VA) Battlefield, and Zouave Reenactor (April 22, 1990)

Around the age of six, my mother tells me, I began to write (and draw) because I thought I’d had been a soldier in the Civil War. Some of the surviving artwork from my childhood shows (among the “normal” dinosaur and spaceship stuff) Civil War battles. Several of those battle scenes are labeled “1862” and deal with soldiers and bayonets.

Now, let me tell you about a dream I had as a kid, one of which I still remember: that of being bayoneted in the side during a Civil War battle.

It was your basic, being bayoneted-in-your-side kinda dream, you know, battle, violence, that kind of thing, is all I remember. I think it was my right side, but am no longer sure.  But, I’d awoken from said dream in intense agony, clutching my side—so much so that I actually fell out of bed. There, on the floor, the intense pain persisted for many minutes after waking from that the dream and I remember writhing and grunting as I clutched my side, my back against the bed. It wasn’t until years later that I’d told anyone about it. In adulthood I finally told one of his brothers, Chris. To both our astonishment, Chris told me he’d had the exact same dream as a kid.

In 1990, I left the Air Force and Colorado and moved briefly to Alexandria, Virginia.

While there, I’d visited the Civil War battlefield Bull Run (aka Manassas). I had already visited several Civil War battlefields before (and since), but, at this one I’d begun to experience what I’ve come to describe as my “Twilight Zone experience”: though I couldn’t name fields or the units that had fought there, I had had the most unnerving experience of literally feeling torn between two worlds: that of being both in the present, but also in the past—in the Civil War—there, at that battlefield. Throughout the entire tour of that battlefield, I felt as if I’d been there before.

Died there.

It felt as if the battle had just happened yesterday. My body felt electrified, “shifting,” almost “vibratory” as my then-girlfriend and I

The Stone House, Manassas Battlefield, VA (April 22, 1990)

The Stone House, Manassas Battlefield, VA (April 22, 1990)

toured the battlefield. My girlfriend thought I was crazy…but went along with me and my sudden weirdness. I simply could not shake it. It was the coolest feeling. Such feelings are not uncommon. While some can remember intimate detail, others just get these little weird feelings. I was much older (29) when I experienced this, so there is a lot of mental filtering that can go on (e.g., perhaps one’s soul or “greater entity” doesn’t want you focusing too much on the minutiae of previous lives—again, for whatever reasons, maybe we’d get too caught up in the “grass is greener” syndrome, or wax too nostalgic—but allowing you to remember you had other lives is fine). Were I younger when this happened, I might have been able to recall more, but the older you get, the more “barriers” there are to reincarnational memories, apparently, no matter how “enlightened” one may be (again, see previous “e.g.”). But this feeling was so stark, startling, and real to me it was no different than being repeatedly hit in the gut with a sledgehammer.

And, curiously, these feelings of mine all revolved around the second of the two battles, the one fought in August of 1862.

Now, all my childhood drawings show the typical “blue and gray” uniforms, never the colorful display of the Union Zouave, but the Zouave uniform does seem to hit a “mark” in me, though I’ve never really liked that uniform. Maybe I fought alongside them? So, was I part of the 5th New York (this link is an incredible, tragic account of the decimation of the 5th New York), or some other unit, I’m not sure, but I know that in one Yankee uniform or another I fought and most likely died somewhere on that battlefield. And speaking of uniforms, ever since childhood, anything Civil War, uniforms, weaponry, just the mention of the war or its years, all strike a chord in me. It feels like I’m still wearing those uniforms, every time I see one. It feels like I’m still holding a Springfield rifle, every time I see one. I mean, why would the Civil War hold such sway over me—or anyone, for that matter? WWII holds similar sway, but but not nearly as intensely as the Civil War does, except for B-17s. Where would such an “interest” arise? Most women I know don’t seem to have much interest in wars, so why does my writer friend Teresa Funke have such an intense interest in WWII? As a kid, I lived and breathed the Civil War, my room totally done up in all things Civil War: walls painted gray, royal blue carpet, blue-tan-and-gray-striped curtains, stars-and-stripes light fixture. Flags up on my walls, maps. I could rattle off battles and campaigns like nobody’s business, the major players on both sides. Why? To me, “just an interest” doesn’t cut it—why the interest? Why not in Rome or flowers? Cars? There was something inside of me that drove my desire to study the Civil War so damned intensely, to visit the battlefields, read the history. I don’t believe in coincidences. There’s always a reason for why things are.

Henry Hill (I believe), Manassas Battlefield, VA (April 22, 1990)

Henry Hill (I believe), Manassas Battlefield, VA (April 22, 1990)

And it’s not that every leaning or interest of ours is from a reincarnational life, but some are, and we need to internally examine our own thoughts and feelings to make these determinations. I do not let any other lives—previous or otherwise—rule my life. I do not pine for them nor romanticize them. I am firmly in my current existence. But I am amazed and curious about the other lives I feel I’ve lived. I know I meet others from other lives in my current one, but it doesn’t mean we have to be best buds or even stay in contact. Sometimes it’s just enough to pass by and simply say “Hi,” and move on. But some lives were quite intense and had nasty outcomes, like my Civil War, Titanic, or WWII B-17 tail gunner experiences. I think we do attract experiences and “things” from other lives into the current life, because it’s a matter of energy having a Venn Diagram-like effect, and it’s a good thing that not everything transfers from one life to the others. But, I do try to share the positive energy between my lives, learn from them, and move on.

I’ve been back to Manassas two more times in this life, and in none of the other visits had I behaved as I had on that first trip. I have been to other battlefields, Gettysburg (twice),  Ball’s Bluff, etc., and never felt like I had during the first trip to Manassas. But, that’s okay…and is as it should be. I’m now aware of what happened and growing from it. I even wrote a supernatural short story that was inspired by visiting one of the Manassas grave sites.

In the end, I love my current life and, as I understand things, realize all our lives are going on concurrently, though we perceive them linearly (those of us who perceive them at all), living in corporeal existence. I’m not interested in retreating back into any of these lives (Are you kidding? I certainly don’t want to relive dying on a Civil War battlefield, being shot out of a flak-ridden sky as a WWII tail gunner, nor again going to my watery grave with the Titanic!), but I am interested in what seems important enough to percolate back into my consciousness from these other existences (I was once muscle tested by a chiropractor to find out how many lives I was supposed to have lived; I didn’t know what he was doing as he rattled off “random” numbers. He came up with 14). Though it is the present that is always the point of power, the focus in which we should be in life, do pay attention to the odd little predilections you have, the so-called incongruous thoughts you might have. Where might they come from? Do you seem to lean toward the Prohibition Era? Ancient Egypt? Allow the thoughts, images, or feelings to come through…acknowledge them, then send some positive energy back to them. Positive energy permeates all Time, and, therefore, can change the past or the future…and make life a little better for everyone.

Henry Hill (I believe), Manassas Battlefield, VA (April 22, 1990)

Henry Hill (I believe), Manassas Battlefield, VA (April 22, 1990)

All photos are my own, taken April 22, 1990, and scanned into digital format.

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The Ghost Inside My Child

Posted by fpdorchak on February 7, 2014
Posted in: Esoterica, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 11 Comments

“Airplane Crash! Plane On Fire! Little Man Can’t Get Out!”

I read about James Leininger (now, a full-fledged Eagle Scout teenager) years ago (around 2000, or so), when the story about the young two-year-old reincarnated from the downed WWII pilot, James M. Huston, Jr, first came out, and have been following his progress ever since. Read the book, Soul Survivor,  his folks published.  The other two stories of reincarnated children on this video are new, and I’d never heard of them before but are just as riveting. I don’t want to say anything about them, so you can enjoy the discovery on your own, in the above, 41-minute video, which was just posted on the Leininger blog.

Not shown in this video, because it’s about children, is another pretty incredible story, involving Jenny Cockell. I highly recommend checking out her and her books, one of which is titled, Across Time And Death, A Mother’s Search For Her Past Life Children.

The thing about reincarnation is that everyone does it. It’s not just those who’ve died nasty deaths…but those who have died nasty deaths are probably more apt to recall past lives, because the circumstances had been so horrible upon their deaths. I’ve also read that some souls, upon death, immediately turn around and jump back into physical life—that doesn’t mean they’re reborn in the same year, that next second, but that they just don’t take any time to “relax” or assimilate their deaths…and jump right back into physical reality in whatever time period they chose (and in James’s case, he describes a little about that briefly in Soul Survivor…about how he, essentially, “floated around” for a period of time looking for the right parents, and observed them for a little before choosing them—note, I said choose).

And, as you watch the above video, consider this…those personalities who have reincarnated into our time? They were also reincarnated in their lives.

Ever consider that?

We all “reincarnate” throughout all our lives, in that (in my humble opinion) we all live multiple—and simultaneous—lives. Life is far too intricate and wondrous to be limited to one, single life. We all have far too much to learn, and we just can’t fit it into one life. I’ve talked about this before in other posts.

It’s disheartening that situations like these arise and the parents involved are not equipped to deal with them. Need to “make it better” or can’t “fix” it. There’s nothing to fix…only to understand. And in understanding, it’s not about the previous personality taking over the current one’s life. It’s simply a matter of understanding what’s happening, fully addressing it, helping the child understand…but also understanding that your life is yours…not anyone else’s…not even that previous personality’s. One should not be worried about a child talking about “another mother”…or that that “other mother” will take over your affections. Don’t you see this can be Daisy-chained ever farther backward, with each previous person’s reincarnational lineage? To everyone? What matters is your present life. What matters is you as a parent or uncle or friend schooling the children with these memories that it’s okay and natural to have them. It is…but you’re in a new place now, those memories cannot really hurt you. Children cry and wail for all kinds of reasons, and we soothe them. Sooth them, here, too. I know there haven’t been tools or guidelines out—until recently—on how to deal with this kind of behavior, but with an open mind and a little research you can understand what’s going on through venues like this, books like Soul Survivor, and so many others. A past life does not have to take control of your child…reliving its memory is one thing, and is healthy to the greater understanding of who we are, why we behave as we do…why we’re afraid of flying, or water, or have  a penchant for music, alcohol, or wide, open plains and Mongolian barbeques. We need to understand these things, not stomp them down into our unconsciousnesses, where they will never really go away, but breed and fester and somehow manifest into symptoms we can never truly understand and end up medicating for the rest of our lives.

Reincarnation also shows how we are all so intimately connected.

Maybe a parent in one life is our spouse or child in another. It should give us a far greater appreciation of each other, that we are all not that different, no, not at all, not even all that separated from each other, no matter that we live on different sides of the planet. That death is not permanent. Life situations are not permanent. That our souls actually do survive beyond death and that, hey, here’s a shocker, we not only choose the lives we live…but also our parents…our family members.

Reincarnational memories usually happen before six years of age, usually around ages 2 or 3. For many, these memories eventually fade after 6 years of age…unless one makes an effort to keep them. I have one instance when I was about six years of age that involved the Civil War, but have had other feelings and predispositions, like an interest in B-17s.  The problem with getting these later is that they’re more filtered by your current life’s beliefs and minutiae, so the memories are not as fully developed, not as complete.

Don’t let reincarnational memories frighten. Be smart about them and learn from them. Be open to them…and be open to your children about them. If you think children can’t handle them, consider what they’re already going through…what they’ve been through in a previous life. Be a parent and guide them through it. If they’re already talking about “my other mother,” describing gruesome death scenes, it’s probably a pretty sure bet they can handle the conversation you control. It’s probably a pretty sure bet that all the good you tell them they can handle. If you don’t understand it, tell them you’re not sure, but together you will both find out what it is, what’s going on, and explore what your child is trying to tell you…but that memories cannot hurt them. Ignoring them, stomping them down can.

Be a parent.

Apply the same techniques you would with any other situation that children are having a hard time with, or are afraid of. Just don’t ignore it. There’s so much to learn and grow from.

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The Boy Who Was Brave

Posted by fpdorchak on January 15, 2014
Posted in: Esoterica, Paranormal, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 9 Comments

We all to have die sometime of something.

This may sound flippant, cruel, or heartless to some (especially given what I’m about to discuss), but it is a simple truth and not meant coldly. Most of us probably hope our deaths will be quiet and painless…or, perhaps at least in service to some greater good. We all more or less expect to die at a “right” time, after we’ve lived a full life…and those with children certainly never expect for them to go first….

Why do we have to die?

Why do some die horribly?

Why do some act heroically while others are victims?

These are powerful questions for which few have answers…or those who claim to have answers tend to be part of organizations that truck in the metaphysical (I include religions, here, because I’m using “metaphysical” in the broadest of senses). Nothing wrong with that. How else do you expect to find such answers, in real, everyday life, since most of us don’t take the “obvious” as answers, and “obvious” means different things to different people? Many of us are searching for answers to all the “whys” in Life, one of the biggest and hairiest of which is…why death.

Why?

But, no matter what we think we see, we experience, what if the answer to the Why of Death is that there really is no death?

Jesse McCord Lewis’s story is heart-wrenching. I haven’t read the book, only the RD article, but the article (and some Internet research) tells the story of six year old who acted older than his perceived six years of life should have allowed him to…and saved lives.

Jesse’s December 12, 2012 day, in Newton, Connecticut, started like any other day at the Lewis household, according to his mother, Scarlett Lewis. Scarlett woke Jesse up with song and kisses until he giggled. Jesse’s father, Neil, “arrived” (divorced, separated, shift worker…?) to take Jesse to school. It was a sunny morning, and frost coated the car. As Scarlett said her good-byes, she’d found “I love you” scratched into the frost on the car, and Jesse standing there, smiling up at her (she took a picture of it). But, when Neil dropped off Jesse at school (inside the school’s hallway, in a crouched position, I have to assume), Jesse turned to his father, put his hands on his father’s shoulders, and said: “I just want you to know it’s gonna be OK. I love you and Mom.”

Jesse turned and left for his first-grade classroom.

Scarlett tells us that Jesse, only four feet tall, was “born brave,” never shied away from challenges, always had a ready grin (interesting choice of words—not a “smile,” but a grin…). Possessed a “warrior’s heart” and was “an old soul” (another interesting choice of words). He also had a “favorite camouflage helmet.”

Scarlett tells us that when the first blasts of automatic gunfire opened up at Sandy Hook Elementary, there were reports that Jesse didn’t run, and more so, that he stayed by the side of his first-grade teacher, Miss Soto, whom he loved.

The gunman, whose name was Adam Lanza, entered their classroom and opened fire, killing Miss Soto. Survivor reports say that Jesse ended up with a head wound, did not flee, stayed on his feet…and faced the gunman…who ended up pausing to either reload or deal with a weapon’s issue (okay, weird synchronicity, here: as I’m initially writing this, on Dec 31st, about 4:47 a.m., on my iTunes radio the very instant I’d been working on this section was playing a Shinedown song, called “Second Chance.” I paused it when I heard the following: “Tell my mother, tell my father/I’ve done the best I can/To make them realize/This is my life/I hope they understand/I’m not angry, I’m just saying/Sometimes goodbye is a second chance…”; click here are the rest of “Second Chance’s” lyrics). It was in this moment that Jesse yelled to his classmates to run. Nine little kids did as they were told, by someone who possessed an uncanny and coherent presence of mind for someone six years of age that (to my way of thinking) goes beyond any six year old I’ve ever met. All nine who ran, survived.

Following Jesse’s death, Scarlett found in Jesse’s personal effects a picture he’d drawn two days earlier of (in her words) “an angel standing in front of a bad man.” I’ve only found this image in the Wayne Dyer video, on Scarlett’s website, at about the 3:25 mark. It does show a very short person before another, taller, person whose head is “messed up” (i.e., scribbled over) Scarlett also later found that Jesse had also scrawled on their kitchen chalkboard the message “Norurting Helin Love” (“Nurturing Healing Love”). Immediately following Jesse’s funeral, Scarlett further informs that during the balloon release in his honor that the floating balloons had actually formed a heart as they drifted over Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Why—and how—all of this?

One could invoke “God,” but how do you reconcile God “allowing” murder? The murder of innocents? This is another topic that draws much discussion (including the “free will argument)…but…what if reincarnation fit in with most views of what God is? What if reincarnation “fit in” with most religious beliefs? From what I remember of my study of religion in college, it can fit in with most religious tenants. Couldn’t reincarnation explain—through what I like to term “reincarnational angst”—a lot of the violence that pervades our world? Explain unexplainable grudges, anger, conflict? Personal angst? Especially such explosions as this that seemingly come out of nowhere? Yes, mental illness is at play in this instance, but why (again another of the “Big Whys”…) the mental illness? Get past the pure biology or psychology of it all and try to go philosophically, spiritually—what brings on this kind of mental illness? If we’re so quick to leap into religious discussion about devils, battles between Good and Evil, why can’t we also leap into discussions about reincarnation? Okay, it might not be written about in one or another’s holy books…but are computers written about in said holy books? Cars? The concepts of space travel, or capital gains? So, if so, then we might begin to see that perhaps we are the creators of the violence in the world, not some unseen, inherent Evil, but a very personal misunderstanding of confused energy and feelings. Fear. That through the  misunderstanding of our feelings, our urges, in the case of uncorrelated experiences to a person’s current life experiences, that issues from another life might very well be impacting an individual’s psyche. It might be a useful course of action to follow. Again, how much more “far out” is it to consider reincarnational theory then it is to consider an inherent Devil at odds with God? We all like to use terms like “old soul,” in casual conversation…why use it if we don’t believe it?

As I look at the picture of the boy in his “favorite camouflage helmet,” as I look into his face…his eyes…I do not see a six-year-old child.

I see…a soul with a purpose. I see determination.

I believe we all live multiple lives across Time, and that these lives impact each and every other life (our own and others’). Though I don’t believe these lives are lived chronologically, I use the term “reincarnation,” which typically seems to imply (at least in casual conversation) linear chronology. I believe God does allows us our lives…but beyond that, it’s all up to us to create and live them. And this “allow” is meant metaphysically deeply. Is far from a trite utterance. I mean it to mean each of us chooses our lives, our challenges within them, and our physical entrances and exits into corporeal existence, including all that implies.

I feel the abovementioned picture of Jesse shows the spirit and determination of a soldier from another life “come back” to perform a deed (okay, it’s now January 1st, 4:51 a.m. or so, as I reworked this passage, and another Shinedown song on my iTunes radio, “45” plays. As I wrote the preceding, the following lyrics hit me: “And I’m staring down the barrel of a 45/
Swimming through the ashes of another life…”; here is the link to the rest of the lyrics…interesting how this particular song might apply to both Jesse and the gunman). I can’t help but feel that that picture radiates a soldier in another life coming back to save some children from a very bad, messed-up individual. The reasons for something like this are many and varied, but, perhaps, in that other war-time life there had been some strong ties between Jesse, his parents, Miss Soto, and Lanza that related to the nine children who were able to flee that classroom with their lives. Some…unfinished business. This is what I picked up from Jesse’s picture. This is what the song synchrony seems to be reinforcing as I write and rewrite this post (as I write this now [January 1st], Breaking Benjamin’s “Breath” is playing…).

It’s tragic there was a murderer and victims to this story, and not the return of Jesse and the others to their lives. As I’d mentioned, I’d caught this story in Reader’s Digest, and it greatly moved me, as does any heroic, Human Interest story, but the reincarnational aspects of Jesse’s life jumped out to me…and hopefully pointing this out may help others in whatever ways something like this could and should help…but it does in no way justify the gunman’s actions. That person was obviously deeply and profoundly disturbed (the Sandy Hook Elementary link tells that Lanza was obsessed about writing “…about battles, destruction and war“; this clearly tells me there has to be a reincarnational aspect to his angst, given he was never personally in battle in this life, so it adds additional fuel to the soldier reincarnational theory with Jesse), and we must all take responsibility for our actions in whatever life is our current focus, reincarnational angst or no.

We need to curb our anger our hatred…the violence we inflict upon ourselves and one and other…and we can’t do that with methods that are just not working. While I hail Scarlett’s journey to try to make the world a better place with The Choose Love Foundation, I hope that it goes beyond just preaching that all we have to do is love each other “more” (she does talk of “programs,” but I don’t know what those programs are). We need to understand what is going on that all of a sudden more kids and adults are going into schools and killing each other. Why the sudden epidemic? Why schools? I remember no such instances (not one) from my youth. What has changed and why? We need to develop new methods to combat these kinds of disturbed acts. It’s not just a matter of “choosing” love over violence…it’s also about understanding where the underlying anger and violence are coming from and dealing with them. Stomping anything down—even with love—does not rid one of the problem. It merely compresses it. And as we should all know, with compression comes heat and with heat…explosions. Exploring and understanding reincarnation can be one useful tool in an arsenal of tools. From what I’ve learned, once many grow to quantify and understand their problems…understand why they might feel one way or the other, or from where their problems originate…the problems become manageable. Yes, there are always exceptions, and no, reincarnational theory is not a cure-all, but if such issues arise early in life with no apparent starting point in the current life, where else do you—can you—turn? Sure, possibly genetics, but I feel genetics can also be tied to reincarnation, and I’ve read (in more than one, non-metaphysical, source) that actual genetics can be changed within an individual without so-called scientific (invasive) manipulation.

There are many Whys…many of which I certainly don’t have answers to…but in looking to Jesse’s helmeted picture, I see more than a “mere” six year old involved in saving those nine others…there was a man…a soldier, from another time…who briefly visited our existence to help those who survived to survive. I mean he stood up to the shooter and did not run. Faced him. Why more—why Miss Soto—were not saved gets into deeper metaphysical considerations, upon which there are many books written….

Reincarnation is not just a party discussion (and there has been actual serious research performed on the subject), but a very real possibility that can help us better understand ourselves and be put to use in bettering not only our current lives…but all of our lives.

I salute you, Jesse McCord Lewis. Thank you for performing your mission. You were, indeed, a boy who’d been brave.

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The Death of a Man

Posted by fpdorchak on November 14, 2013
Posted in: Philosophical, Reincarnation, To Be Human, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

Unknown Person

The Great Unknown (Unknown Person, photo credit: Wikipedia)

My wife and I attended the funeral of a neighbor this past weekend. His name was Eddie.

Eddie, whose particulars I will not get into to maintain family privacy, was someone my wife’s family had known for a long time. Eddie was also a fixture on his patio, smokin’ cigarettes and tossing balls (and other objects) for his dog to chase after. He is survived by his kids, mom, and other family members.

What is the measure of a person?

What is the sum total of one’s life?

How does one’s death affect everyone they’d ever met?

There are so many variables that go into any life, and trying to summarize those into an hour or so’s service in their honor is just crazy impossible…but said services are not about summarizing the passing of the life in question…they’re about closure for the those who remain behind. About missing the sound of the deceased’s voice, his or her laughter, the touch and feel of his or her’s hands or kisses. The strength of their hugs. How they helped you through your problems, or how you helped them through theirs. How you laughed and cried together. How they “reality checked” you. The security of their presence…how they strode across the Earth and played with children, lent dimensions of depth to our lives. The sparkle and life of their resilient, oh-so-alive eyes….

Eddie was a handsome devil in his younger years, and certainly still handsome in his later years (and by “later years,” I mean he was about my age), including the sporting of a beard that kinda gave him that sea-captain-of-yore look. We always hailed each other and sometimes entered into conversation (and sometimes or two a good laugh) when we were both out back, me grilling, mowing, or doing other yard work. Whatever was going on with him—and inside him, because the exterior is a mirror of the interior—he always seemed to take things in stride. He recently told me he’d been very happy in starting up a new hobby/business venture that had always kinda interested him.

“Hey, Eddie!”

“How ya doin’, Frank!”

The wafting of his cigarette smoke (yes, it was only a little annoying, and well…).

It became a “thing.”

His medical condition just never quite got better, and he kept finding himself in the hospital or some extended care facility. We weren’t “close,” in that we went out, hung out, kinda thing (we traveled in very different circles), but I did help him and his mother out in various ways. Unexpectedly—at least to my wife and I—he made that final trip into the Great Unknown we label Death, and we just couldn’t believe it.

He’d been on the mend.

He looked and sounded strong-as-bull, same mischievous tone to his voice. It was a strong voice. His energy felt good about him. He was once more returned to the “old Eddie,” the healthier Eddie—

Next thing I know…gone.

Boom.

I didn’t know Eddie in depth, but I had known him for many years as a polite and pleasant neighbor. Never had a problem with him. He seemed like a good man, a man just trying to get by, provide for his kids, his mother (his dad had died a few years ago). And he was always fun to talk with. We’d offered our services and checked up on him and his mom during the nasty flooding in our area this past summer. We always looked for him every time we went outside, so it’s no longer the same, going out there picking up on the smell of his cigarettes, no longer seeing him there, in his usual perch, his dog looking for me in that usual ways dogs do….

In our deaths, we affect other’s lives. We leave voids, unfinished sentences. Our presence in life builds an expected stability to our lives, knowing we can depend on the surety of life, a community, like pleasant friends or neighbors we enjoy interacting with in our own, personal ways. Keeping an eye out for each other. And when we leave…our ghosts remain…as we look in their gone directions and ghost patios and still see them waving to us with their unique smiles. Still hear their now-hollow voices only in our minds. It’s a weird thing, when you think about it, and such a young man…gone, now…actually leaving a void in the lives of two people not related to him….

Do you ever think about the people you know who have died that you weren‘t close to?

But, as with family members I’ve lost, I’m not sad for them…sure, I miss them and their presence and everything that goes with that…but, I’m happy and excited for them. They’ve made the decision (I believe we all choose the timing of our deaths) to move on. Done what they’ve come to do and experience.Eddie is free to return to Earthly life or move on, and I’m glad he spent some of that time in our circle of influence.

I wonder what he’s doing now.

So, to that sea captain of yore, I bid you fair winds and following seas, Eddie! Thanks for spending part of your life on this Earth in our company, and may your further adventures be exciting and fulfilling!

Oh, and, one more thing…

One day, shortly after having heard of Eddie’s passing, I went out back on our deck…and smelled cigarette smoke.

I’d shot a look in “his” direction (for real and fast—it was that weird).

Nobody.

My Ronin/Samurai Life

Posted by fpdorchak on March 30, 2013
Posted in: Esoterica, Reincarnation, To Be Human. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 26 Comments

Samurai 1890

Samurai 1890 (Photo credit: kamikasineo)

In 1997, I went for a future life progression. I thought I ‘d try something new, something different, considering you usually only hear about regressions—at least for myself, I had never heard of a progression—checking out for possible future lives. What happened next took me totally by surprise. One could say (as I did during the whole experience…) I was making it all up…but, it’s still a fascinating tale, and one I’ve incorporated into my supernatural murder mystery I’m considering publishing through Amazon’s CreateSpace.

Note (November 20, 2013): I have since released the above “consideration” as The Uninvited. It’s available both as an e-book and a paperback! This event has been incorporated into the novel.

Well, you decide. Below is the largely unedited (I kept it as I originally wrote it) account of my possible ronin existence (“Karen” was the hypnotherapist):

April 28, 1997

Note (5:57 p.m.):  Had my session with Karen just now (4-5:30 p.m.)–and she tricked me!  Well, it was very interesting.  She allowed me to go where I wanted, or needed, to go and I did my normal meditation thing of shapes and colors, and saw the image of a “lying down” oriental structure.  So we went with that.  Now, I didn’t always “see” anything, but more felt things.  I had visual images without the images, is the only way to describe it, though sometimes I did see images.  And I got the session on tape.  Apparently, and this is news to me, I do have a life in Oriental culture, as much as I’ve not been interested in it now (well, that may change…).  Remember that as I describe lots of this stuff, its not like I’m actually there, like I am, writing this, it was more of images and feelings.  Visual-but-nonvisual senses.  The entire time, I felt like I was making it up.  Here’s what I got:  we started off with this person, a warrior-philosopher, enjoying a sunrise.  He (me!) stood on a cliff that overlooked/had a view to Mount Fuji (?!), on a coastline.  It was a beautiful sunrise, and I felt so at one with myself and life.  Felt calm and powerful.  The age of 33 came to mind, but when she asked me what year, I was totally unconcerned (the year was a nonissue to me; I was there to do something, and that’s all), though later 1715 or so came to mind.  1700?  1735?  I had told her I don’t care what year it is, that it doesn’t matter to me.  I wore a heavy, stiff (kinda felt the stiffness) overgarment over white undergarments.  Karen asked for more details but I told her it didn’t really matter to me.  The color was something like red or brown–or a combination of the two.  On the upper portions of the garment was a gold swath of some width–a sash?–across the upper shoulders, and the entire outfit was ornate, the gold embroidered.  Wore sandals of leather–and/or wood?  Had my sword.  My hair was black, and ponytailed in some fashion–two ponytails?  Didn’t feel like it was too long, but shoulder length or so.  I’m powerful and confident, a good fighter, but don’t like the fighting.  It’s a means to an end.  I’m really a philosopher-teacher.  I became a warrior out of “necessity.”  I felt I had much to teach (but also to learn) and had I publicly came out with my views I would have been killed.  So I became a warrior and took to solitude and travel.  I was very good at being a warrior.  The name that came to mind immediately was something like:  Kioshu/Kiashu/Kiushu?  I seem to lean toward the first spelling though.  In looking up in the dictionary, I find that there’s an island in SW Japan called Kyushu, or Kiushu.  So am I picking up on a name or the island?  I feel it’s actually the name I had gotten, because when Karen asked for my name that was the immediate thing that came to my mind, I mean I didn’t even have time to doubt or think “gee, now I have to come up with a name!”.  Fucking incredible.  I consider myself journeying–that wherever I am I’m just visiting–philosophically as well as physically–journeying through life, and this is but a stop for me.  I seem to live alone, in a low, squat, meager dwelling of light-brown wood.  Behind the dwelling (where I stand) are colorful flowers and vegetation against the building.  There’s a dirt/stone? path leading back to the house.  Karen asked if I ate breakfast, and I got something about fish and vegetables–carrots?  And something like “rice wine” to drink.  As I stand with my back to the cliff, and face the house, off to my right is an incline into the lush and heavily vegetated mountains, which I find so beautiful.  There is no real path.  In the distance are high mountains with low cloud cover.  I love it here.  I take to this incline and walk, with only the clothes on me and my sword, and maybe a small pouch to my left front.  Money?  I feel it is my mission in life to help those that seek me out–but also for me to learn.  I just go off in journey and take what comes or is attracted.  I’m very knowledgeable and intelligent (Karen brought this up; she said I seem to be intelligent in this personality).  Eventually, I come to an ancient temple hidden along this path (and feel this is one of the reason I’ve come to live here; it’s extremely secluded and hidden).  The temple is tall, but narrow.  Abandoned.  I stand before it and smile.  Amused.  I think:  good effort [for children].  I understand why the temple was built.  I feel that those that had built this, as do all peoples, make the best attempts at understanding life, so, though however misguided, it is the intent toward understanding and bettering life that counts.  I do not agree with the belief systems of the time and area, and feel it is my chosen “task” to help others understand, and that my being a warrior is a “necessary compromise” to further my purposes.  I continue on.  Along this path I had images of conflict and battle, but did not engage in any.  I am a teacher, to teach whoever’ll listen and needs help–I teach whatever they come to learn–it’s different with each person.  I also learn.  Karen asked what lesson did/do I learn in Kioshu’s life, and I said there was more than one, but a sanctity of life was one.  That, as I stated, “agreements” to kill had been made so my “greater good” could come across.  I also mentioned something about liking the feel of physical objects, like my sword–not in using it to kill, but in its inherent feel, its use in practice.  There’s just a certain feel of steel and sword.  I draw a metaphor between the sword and life:  that life and the sword are double-edged.  It is the intent of the wielder that makes life–or the sword–what it is.

Karen then has me jump ahead in time to the next point of significant interest in my life.  I am now 35.  I am in the middle of battling two bandits/warriors.  I seem to be protecting peasants in the field behind me.  I have conflicting emotions (and actually felt this as I talked to Karen; felt emotion well up within me):  I feel emotional about helping the peasants, feel love for them–but also for those I will have to kill.  I am frustrated that these men are doing what they are doing–don’t they understand they need not do this?  There is no need for anger and greed!  There is a third man behind them, on a (large?) horse, with a bow and arrow–he seems to also be dressed like me.  He watches us.  I also feel anger against these warriors, and with an utter sense of confidence and cockiness, feel, fine, if you’re gonna fuck with me, then you’re gonna die, and I kill them (during this fight, there was a bright, intense “splotch” that brought me out of the trance, and I opened my eyes, but Karen had me go back under.  I found the images were still there, and continued:).  Before I killed the attackers, there was never any doubt I’d win–me dying never entered my mind.  But as I stand there, I look to the horseman, and he looks back.  I sense that he wants to fire at me–but for some reason… doesn’t.  He says nothing.  All he does is calmly turn his horse away, and walk the beast away from us without turning to look back.  I am greatly saddened.  These people–including those I have killed (for a short time, anyway)–will only see the exterior actions and not realize that I have not really killed any one.  Will not understand the philosophical ramifications.  I want to tell the peasants what has really gone on here, but am frustrated because I know they will not understand–and I am a teacher, dammit, it’s my job, my passion, to teach.  I grow weary with the killing, but still choose to continue my way because I feel I still have things to do before I “go.”  Don’t know why I choose not to fight–except that “greater good” argument.

As I wondered if I made it all up or it was real, one thing kept nagging at me:  it emotionally and intuitively feels like me.

Sept 3, 1999

Note (10:30 p.m.):  Just had a weird thing happen.  Was watching a couple-year-old rerun of Sightings, and they were talking about a Japanese lake monster called Ishii, in Lake Akida (couldn’t find this spelling, also from the TV, but found “Ikeda,” and it does talk about a lake monster…), on the island of Kyushu, which is about 1000 miles from Tokyo.  They showed this scene, from above the lake, on a cliff, and in the distance was a mountain (Fuji?)–and it looked exactly like what I’d seen in my warrior vision.  I may look into this a little more!  Reference April 28, 1997 dream entry, “Note” for 5:57 p.m.

May 23, 2001

I noticed many months ago, while doing research and talking with a martial arts instructor that he had the term “Kyoshi” before his name.  I wonder if that’s what I picked up on, in terms of a “name”….

January 18, 2006

As I wrote out an e-mail to a friend of mine about my meeting with another hypnotherapist, “Sydney,” (January 17, 2006, 11 a.m. to noon), it occurred to me that when I went in for that life progression session with Karen, and got the past life regression, instead, it might also give more fuel for me that this is my last physical incarnation, hence there was nothing in the future for me!  And yesterday I thought that perhaps all my 3D-motion issues might actually stem from my perceived WWII crash-and-burn life.  Sydney asked what I thought might have been my previous life, and I told her I’d had thoughts that I might have lived and died during WWII, as a bomber aircrew member, perhaps a tail gunner.  Additionally, I told her I’d had images of being pulled apart by horses in some “court,” which I’d been thinking might be related to this or another Japanese life death, when it also dawned on me that perhaps…it might have been a Mongolian life.  Ever since researching Genghis Khan’s life, I’ve found pictures of the area of upper Mongolia very comforting and familiar.  And that particular death does seem more in keeping with that life. Perhaps my soul really does like elements of drama, given my perceived lives and their deaths….

So…had I made this all up? Was it a past life that I’d been ignoring that had finally leaked through into my consciousness? All I can tell you is that it all seemed pretty damned real at the time.

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Posted by fpdorchak on February 1, 2012
Posted in: Reincarnation, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

One of my reincarnational lives, as a WWII tail gunner…

Runnin Off at the Mouth....

I mean, I just stood there and looked at her.

Didn’t want to leave.

Something felt so familiar.

“They” say movies and pictures add 10 pounds to people…well, there’s also something movies and pictures add to history. Seeing something firsthand seems to strip away all the pomp and makeup and lighting and “best sides” to the bare, unadulterated truth.

This…was a war machine.

A well-crafted, lethal, deliverer of death and destruction.

So why the fascination? Why did so many men turn into kids around things like aircraft and boats and battlefields?

Why do they jockey for position to get in front of others to squeeze in and crawl through a claustrophobic metal tube such as the B-17’s fuselage?

I spent last weekend crawling throughout and marveling at a refurbished B-17G, the Liberty Belle. Words near fail me. This is something that has, well—I’ll use the term “haunted”—me since…

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